From www.geocities.com/mnussitch/gossip.html

A List

Version 4.4 (13 October 02)

Next update around the start of the new year.

The following may or may not be true, and is based on hearsay, rumor, and gossip--most of it from relatively reliable sources, some from more dubious ones, and some based on my own suppositions. I have tried to make this list as accurate as possible, but in some/many cases I wasn't able to verify rumors. I have not put anything here that I know to be untrue. If you want, send me e-mail <mailto:mnussitch@yahoo.com>.

Proceed at your own risk. Believe what you want & reject the rest.

FOD means "Friend of Dorothy," a.k.a. a gay man.
L______ stands for lesbian.
B______ stands for bisexual.

Recent updates, additions and corrections since Version 4.3 are in blue.

With thanks to the folks on alt.gossip.celebrities <news:alt.gossip.celebrities>, K-Y Mellie, and Jill "The Diva" Stempel, from whose page I took some of the information included below. Thanks to Richard Corliss (in Time) and Richard Johnson (in the Post) for mentioning the site in their columns. Thanks to John Lithgow for mentioning the site on Conan O'Brian's show; to reward him I made up something about him for his entry. Thanks to Maxim magazine for rewarding my efforts with a Site of the Week award. Thanks to the Star for the interview.

Ackroyd, Dan. Very charming in person, or so I'm told.

Adams, Bryan. Prefers the company of gentlemen. Linked with Todd Oldham.

Adams, Maude. Bisexual. Linked to Bruce Dern & OJ Simpson. Reportedly took Dern to court for claiming to have penetrated her while filming a simulated sex scene during the movie Tattoo.

Adjani, Isabelle. Formerly with Daniel Day Lewis & Warren Beatty.

Affleck, Ben. Rude and a boor. "Boring." May possibly be more than just friends with Matt Damon. Has a filthy mouth. Tranny chaser. Recovering alcoholic. Linked with Pamela Anderson, Sandra Bullock, Salma Hayek, Lauren Holly, Famke Jannsen, Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lopez, and Gwyneth Paltrow.

Agassi, Andre. Humorless, vain airhead. Possibly closeted. Linked with Steffi Graf, Brooke Shields (his ex-wife), and Babs Streisand.

Aguilera, Christina. "Rude, crude, selfish and disrespectful." Stuck-up snot. Possibly prefers women and three-ways. Cocaine addict. Has breast implants. Bad tipper. Linked with Carson Daly (Christina, is this the best you can do?), Dave Grohl, Enrique Igelsias, and Justin Timberlake.

Aikman, Troy. FOD. Or perhaps not. Reports differ.

Albert, Prince, of Monaco. FOD? Linked with Angie Everhart, Kylie Minogue, Brooke Shields, Claudia Schiffer, and Sharon Stone.

Al Fayed, Dodi. Linked to Princess Diana, Darryl Hannah, Princess Stephanie of Monaco, Winona Ryder, and Brooke Shields. Died in the same car crash that snuffed Di.

Alger, Horatio. Pederast. (This is an established historical fact, not mere gossip.)

Ali, Muhammed. Cheated on his wife. "An uncaring, self-centered dad."

Allen, Joan. Former coke dealer and user before hitting Hollywood and making it big. Has been clean for a number of years now and is well-respected and generally seen as being a very nice woman.

Allen, Tim. Possessed of “self-destructive” and “womanizing ways.” Former coke dealer.

Allen, Woody. Neurotic pedophile who took up with his wife's adopted daughter and betrayed the esteem millions held him in; still literally cannot understand what the problem is. Linked with Diane Keaton & Mia Farrow; had affair with teenager during filming of Manhattan.

Alley, Kirstie. Divorced from Parker Stevenson. $cientologist. Given to boasting publicly about her partners' sexual skill. Recovering drug addict. Has a torture chamber in her house. Linked with James Wilder.

Allman, Gregg. Recovering drug addict. Linked with Cher. Reportedly introduced porn star Savannah to the biz when she was only 16.

Almodovar, Pedro. Gay.

Ames, Willie. Recovering drug abuser. Currently a tedious born- again Christian.

Amos, Tori. Rape victim. Record industry brat whose first attempt at a prog-rock album was so laughably bad it was suppressed. Employed casting couch to get the chance to make the follow-up album. Needs to get over herself.

Anderson, Gillian. Divorced. Single mom; daughter reportedly fathered by David Duchovny. May have a drinking/drug problem. Rumored to be bisexual. Hot-tempered. Linked with David Duchovny, Melissa Etheridge, Jodie Foster, Gina Gershon, and Helen Hunt.

Anderson, Laurie. Linked to Lou Reed.

Anderson, Loni. Failed marriage to and bitter divorce with Burt Reynolds; held her adopted son hostage in the divorce. Bi_____; linked with Carol Burnett.

Anderson, Louie. Bi______

Anderson, Pamela. Ex-wife of Tommy Lee and broke up with him again after taking him back; maybe she is learning, after all. Has breast implants. Videotaped sex with her husband; tape was then stolen from them and widely sold. Continues to be surprised that no one takes her seriously; lied, stupidly, about Tommy Lee giving her Hepatitis C when the truth, that it was Kid Rock who gave it to her, was so easily discovered. Formerly with Ben Affleck, Scott Baio, Dean Cain, John Cusack, Kid Rock, Marcus Schenkenberg & Sylvester Stallone.

Anderson, Richard Dean. Closeted FOD or bisexual. Linked with Justine Bateman, Lara Flynn Boyle, Marlee Matlin, Sela Ward, and Katarina Witt.

Andress, Ursula. Formerly married to John Derek, which means she's suffered enough. Linked with Mikhail Baryshnikov, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Marlon Brando, Sean Connery, James Dean, John DeLorean, Harry Hamlin, Dennis Hopper, Marcello Mastroianni, Ryan O'Neal, Elvis Presley,and Peter O'Toole.

Andrews, Julie. Reportedly closeted L____, in long-term relationship with Carol Burnett. Married to Blake Edwards.

Aniston, Jennifer. Has become a big pothead through of her relationship with Brad Pitt. Has jealousy issues. Linked with Adam Duritz, Tate Donovan, Paul Rudd, and Brad Pitt.

Ann-Margret. Linked with Johnny Carson, Eddie Fisher, Steve McQueen, and Elvis Presley.

Apple, Fiona. Humorless, self-important brat. Holding on to reality with only a couple of fingers.

Arbuckle, Fatty. Slut. Unfairly convicted in the public of killing a younger actress via Coke bottle rape; poor Fatty was innocent, but the world was convinced otherwise.

Archer, Anne. $cientologist.

Arden, Eve. L______ or Bi______.

Armstrong, Louie. Major pothead.

Arnaz, Desi. Philandering SOB, but Lucille Ball loved him, so I shouldn't say any more. Alcoholic. Married to Lucille Ball; linked with Ginger Rogers, Cesar Romero, and Lana Turner.

Arnold, Tom. Failed marriage to Roseanne Barr; bitter divorce from her. Large drug user & dealer. Has hair implants. Treats his assistants badly. Former tabloid snitch.

Arquette, Patricia. Linked with Nicholas Cage, Tom Cruise, and Christian Slater.

Arthur, Jean. Bisexual.

Astaire, Fred. Rumored for years to enjoy the company of younger men. Difficult to work with. Linked with Ginger Rogers.

Aykroyd, Dan. Nice guy, but has a taste for loose women in bars. (But then, who among us does not?)

Azaria, Hank. Linked with (failed marriage to) and merkin for Helen Hunt. Linked with Matthew Perry. (No, really!)

Bacall, Lauren. Bailed on supporting victims of McCarthy because "they were Communists." Very stingy. Married to Humphrey Bogart; linked with Kirk Douglas, James Garner, Harry Guardino, Burgess Meredith, Frank Sinatra, and Emmanuel Ungaro.

Baez, Joan. Bisexual, although she now denies any former same-sex relationships. Formerly with Bob Dylan.

Baio, Scott. Closeted bisexual. Former unrestrained relationship with Erin Moran; also linked with Pamela Anderson, Nicole Eggert, and Heather Locklear. Jodie Foster claims to have made out heavily with him, as well.

Baldwin, Alec. The bloviator. Arrogant SOB. Punches out photographers. Acts like spoiled infant on-set. Left Janine Turner almost literally at the altar. Drug problem. Linked with Kim Basinger (failed marriage; among other things, he hit her), Kristin Davis, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Tatum O'Neal.

Baldwin, Daniel. Cokehead. Slut.

Baldwin, Stephen. So enamored of himself he probably masturbates while holding up his own facial shot.

Ball, Lucille. Long-suffering wife of Desi Arnaz; smart, smart woman and a great comedienne. Alcoholic, and not a good mother to her children. Linked with Milton Berle, Henry Fonda, Peter Lawford, Robert Mitchum, George Raft, George Sanders, and Orson Welles.

Banderas, Antonio. Left his wife for Melanie Griffith. Not the brightest bulb in the lamp. Linked with Angelina Jolie.

Bankhead, Tallulah. Omnisexual, and enjoyed it. Hilarious raconteur & source of many great stories. Drug user. All About Eve was reportedly about her. Linked with John Barrymore, Sr., Robert Benchley, Leonard Bernstein, Marlon Brando, Yul Brynner, Winston Churchill (!), Gary Cooper, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr, Greta Garbo, Billie Holliday, Libby Holman, Beatrice Lillie, Chico Marx, Hattie McDaniel, Burgess Meredith, Edward R. Murrow, and Johnny Weissmuller.

Banks, Tyra. Breast implants. Difficult to work with. Linked with Michael Johnson, Seal, John Singleton, Chris Webber, and Tiger Woods.

Baraka, Amiri. Anti-Semitie.

Bardot, Brigitte. Animal rights activist. Linked with Warren Beatty, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Marlon Brando, Sean Connery, Alain Delon, Mick Jagger, Louis Malle, and Roger Vadim.

Barker, Clive. Out and open about it.

Barkin, Ellen. Formerly married to Gabriel Byrne. Linked with Ron Perelman.

Barrymore, Drew. Enjoys playing both sides of the field; openly admits to being B______. Flashed Dave Letterman on camera. Had messy breakup with her domineering mother. Didn't make it through high school. Hygienically challenged. Recovering drug & alcohol addict. Linked with Jeremy Davies, Heather Graham, Tom Green (Drew, what are you thinking?),Val Kilmer, Courtney Love, Jack Nicholson (when she was 13 or 14), Chris O'Donnell, Sam Rockwell, and Luke Wilson.

Bartel, Paul. Out and doesn't care who knows it.

Baryshnikov, Mikhail. Linked with Leslie Brown, Jessica Lange, Liza Minnelli, Isabella Rossellini, and Janine Turner.

Basinger, Kim. "Has more neuroses than an inbred poodle." Acts like a spoiled infant on- and off-set. Jerk. Recovering cocaine and alcohol addict. Linked with Alec Baldwin (failed marriage), Jeff Bridges, Sean Connery, Eminem, Richard Gere, Michael Keaton, Prince, Robert Redford, Burt Reynolds, and Mickey Rourke.

Bass, Lance. Self-described "power bottom."

Bassett, Angela. Isn't as nice as she seems.

Bateman, Justine. Linked with Richard Dean Anderson.

Bates, Kathy. L______.

Bearse, Amanda. L______.

Beatty, Warren. Slut supreme; the only person he hasn't slept with is me (and, okay, Shirley Maclaine). Currently married to Annette Benning (though rumors are that he's not faithful to her, either). Also reportedly humorless, homophobic, and unpleasant--and, BION, not good in bed, according to H-wood prostitutes and Madonna (although Joan Collins says otherwise about this). Difficult to work with. Linked with (deepbreath) Isabelle Adjani, Brigitte Bardot, Candice Bergen, Sonia Braga, Judy Carne, Cher, Julie Christie, Joan Collins, Janice Dickinson, Britt Ekland, Jane Fonda, Melanie Griffith, Goldie Hawn, Bianca Jagger, Diane Keaton, Madonna, Vivian Leigh, Jackie Onassis, Michelle Phillips, Diana Ross, Diane Sawyer, Stephanie Seymour, Carly Simon, Barbara Streisand, Liv Ullman, Mamie Van Doren, and Natalie Wood (along with a cast of thousands).

Beck. $cientologist. Linked with Gina Gershon and Winona Ryder.

Beckinsdale, Kate. Has a penchant for setside squabbling.

Belafonte, Harry. FOD. Rumored to have married Farley Granger on Fire Island during the 1950s.

Belmondo, Jean-Paul. Linked with Ursula Andress & Brigitte Bardot.

Bening, Annette. Married to Warren Beatty.

Bergen, Candice. swoon! Closeted L______ Widow of the late Louis Malle, for whom she provided beard services. Linked with Warren Beatty, Jerry Brown, Robert F. Kennedy, Henry Kissinger (oh, Candice, how could you?), Jack Nicholson, Burt Reynolds, and Terence Stamp.

Bergin, Michael. FOD. Bathhouse habitue'.

Bergman, Ingrid. Linked with Yul Brynner, Gary Cooper, Bing Crosby, Burgess Meredith, Gregory Peck, Anthony Quinn, Omar Sharif, Spencer Tracy. Shocked Hollywood and America by going to Europe and having a child out of wedlock. Mother of Isabella Rosselini. One of the 10 Most Beautiful Women Ever.

Berkley, Elizabeth. Formerly with Paul Verhoeven.

Berle, Milton. Sour, unpleasant man. Notorious for stealing other comedians' jokes/gags. Legendary implement. Bad father. Swapped women (and possibly drag queens) with Bing Crosby. Once "dated" Marilyn Monroe; also linked with Lucille Ball, Theda Bara, Veronica Lake, Aimee Semple Macpherson, and Nancy Reagan.

Bernard, Crystal. "Hypocritical Christian who engages in lesbian affairs and then quickly retreats to religion and her boyfriend and pretends to be Miss Moral." Linked with Morgan Fairchild.

Bernhard, Sandra. L____/bisexual. Had affair with Madonna; also possibly linked with Debi Mazur and/or Jennifer Grey.

Bernsen, Corbin. Philanderer. Linked with Vanna White.

Bernstein, Leonard. Bisexual; had a preference for teenaged African-Americans. Linked with Tallulah Bankhead, Rudolf Nureyev, and Lana Turner.

Berry, Chuck. Voyeur and likes playing with poo as well as watching women urinate and defecate.

Berry, Halle. Formerly married to wife-beater David Justice, and formerly abused by one of her men. "Temperamental" (read: difficult to work with). Formerly a very pricey kept woman. Linked to Prince Albert of Monaco, Kevin Costner, Spike Lee, Eddie Murphy, and Wesley Snipes (reportedly the one who beat her and rendered her near-deaf in one ear).

Bertinelli, Valerie. Difficult to work with. Linked with Eddie Van Halen (as well as most men within her general vicinity).

Beyonce. Linked with Eminem and Jay-Z.

Bisset, Jacqueline. Has some brains behind her beauty. Linked with Alexander Godunov, Dean Martin, Marcello Mastroianni, Steve McQueen, Ryan O'Neal, Frank Sinatra, and Terence Stamp.

Black, Karen. $cientologist.

Blackwell, Mr. Bitch Supreme (I mean that in a good way). FOD. Linked with Cary Grant, Tyrone Power, and Randolph Scott.

Bleeth, Yasmine. Hygienically challenged. Cocaine abuser; introduced to blow by Don Johnson, Yasmine has ruined her face and nose through its overuse. Linked with Richard Grieco, Don Johnson, and Matthew Perry.

Bloom, Orlando. A yummy monkey, indeed. ("Dirty flirt.") Linked with Susanna Eng.

Bloomberg, Mayor. Into being dominated. Admits to pot use.

Bonaduce, Danny. Drug user. Beat up a transvestite hooker. General impression he projects is of a jerk--at least, that's my take on him.

Bogarde, Dirk. FOD. Linked with Judy Garland.

Bogart, Humphrey. Cheated on his wife. Anti-semite and drunkard. Affairs with Lauren Bacall and Louise Brooks.

Bolton, Michael. Vain. Deserves a sound thrashing. Linked with Ashley Judd & Nicollette Sheridan.

Bonet, Lisa. Difficult to work with. Linked with Lenny Kravitz (formerly married to him).

Bow, Clara. Enjoyed men--many and often. Infamous in Hollywood for her enthusiasm and endurance; was "special friend" to the entire 1929 (1927?) USC football team. Linked with Eddie Cantor, Gary Cooper, John Gilbert, Bela Lugosi and John Wayne.

Bowie, David. Huge drug abuser. Married to Iman. Openly bisexual & supposedly linked at one time with Mick Jagger; also linked with Bianca Jagger and Marianne Faithfull.

Boyer, Charles. Committed suicide following the death of his wife. Linked with Katharine Hepburn and Hedley Lamarr.

Boyle, Lara Flynn. Good old girl. Possible coke habit, which might explain why she's so unhealthily gaunt. Linked with Richard Dean Anderson, Adam Duritz, Harrison Ford, Kyle Maclachlan, Jack Nicholson (EW!), David Spade, and Bruce Willis.

Bracco, Lorraine. Bi______. Linked with Harvey Keitel & Edward James Olmos via failed marriages.

Branagh, Kenneth. "Early in his career was ambitio-sexual--would sleep with anyone to advance his career." Cute but conceited. Possibly yet another Great Gay British Actor. Couldn't handle his then-wife's success and pouted, causing Emma Thompson to divorce him. Linked with Helena Bonham Carter and Alicia Silverstone.

Brando, Marlon. Alien/freak. Admitted bisexual. Not a good father to his children; reportedly molested his daughter who committed suicide. Glutton. A slut, in his time. Difficult to work with. Linked with Ursula Andress, Tallulah Bankhead, Brigitte Bardot, Joan Collins, Wally Cox, Faye Dunaway, Marilyn Monroe, Rita Moreno, Jackie O, and Shelley Winters.

Brandy. Diva-in-training.

Brett, George. Bi______.

Brewster, Jordana. Linked with Derek Jeter and Mark Wahlberg.

Bridges, Jeff. Former heavy drug user (and possibly not-so-recovering alcoholic). Linked to Kim Basinger, Valerie Perrine and Cybill Shepherd.

Bridges, Todd. Long string of drug busts.

Broderick, Matthew. Married to Sarah Jessica Parker (although the marriage may be in trouble). Formerly with Jennifer Grey, Helen Hunt, and Penelope Ann Miller. Killed a mother and daughter in a traffic accident in Ireland, and is reportedly still contrite over it. Is destined for Hell because of Ferris Bueller. Possible FOD.

Brolin, Josh. Linked with Minnie Driver and Diane Lane.

Brooks, Louise. Former call girl. Razor-sharp as well as beautiful. Linked with Humphrey Bogart, Charlie Chaplin, Greta Garbo, and William S. Paley.

Brooks, Mel. Possibly B_______. Linked with Anne Bancroft.

Brosnan, Pierce. Homophobe.

Brown, Bobby. All-around asshole. Married to and merkin for Whitney Houston. Linked with Madonna. Wife-beater and generally abusive towards women. Slut, alcoholic and drug addict. Most likely riddled with every sexually-transmitted disease so far discovered. Unpleasant personality. Some of the worst humanity has to offer.

Brown, Jerry. Fruitloop. Linked with Candice Bergen, Stevie Nicks, Linda Ronstadt, Liv Ullman, and Natalie Wood.

Brown, Jim. Physical abuser of women; has a problem with anger and violence.

Brown, Downtown Julie. Multiple plastic surgeries. Was a prostitute when she first came to NYC.

Brown, Julie. L______.

Browne, Jackson. Talentless, conceited hack and abuser of women. Beat Darryl Hannah while he was involved with her.

Bryant, Kobe. Only married his girlfriend when her parents threatened to have him arrested for statutory rape.

Brynner, Yul. Conceited. Linked with Tallulah Bankhead, Ingrid Bergman, Joan Crawford, Marlene Dietrich, Judy Garland, Gina Lollabrigida, Marilyn Monroe, and Nancy Davis Reagan.

Bujold, Genevieve. Difficult to work with. Linked with Elliot Gould.

Bullock, Jim J. Crystal meth user. FOD; HIV+.

Bullock, Sandra. Reportedly a very nice person, although she was very rude to a group of NYC firefighters. Linked with Ben Affleck, Hugh Grant, Matthew McConaughey, Chris O'Donnell, Jason Patric, and with Dweezil Zappa.

Buono, Victor. FOD.

Burghoff, Gary. Difficult to work with. Has a mangled hand.

Burke, Billie. (aka Glinda, the Good Witch) L______.

Burke, Delta. Difficult to work with.

Burnett, Carol. Reportedly a Closet L______. So adorable most men would marry her anyway. Reported long-term relationship with Julie Andrews. Also linked with Loni Anderson.

Burns, Ed. Linked with Heather Graham, Lauren Holly, Winona Ryder, and Christy Turlington.

Burr, Raymond. Closet case. Linked with Tuesday Weld.

Burton, Richard. Drunkard. Closet case. Abused women. Funneled money to IRA. Two marriages to Elizabeth Taylor. Tried but failed to seduce Eddie Fisher. Also linked with Zsa Zsa Gabor, Ava Gardner, Jean Simmons, Susan Strasburgh, Barbra Streisand, Lana Turner and Raquel Welch.

Busey, Gary. Drug user. Wife-beater. Has found Jesus and now supposedly lives a boring, party-free life, although rumors are that this is a sham. Assaulted Robin Quivers during an appearance on the Howard Stern show. Linked with Babs Streisand.

Bush, Barbara. Married to George Bush. Reportedly nice in her dotage but vicious to social outsiders as a college girl.

Bush, George. "Glad-handing sack of shit." Prissy and sanctimonious hypocrite. Had long-time affair while married to Barbara Bush; hired his mistress as State Dept spokeswoman. Also reported to have enjoyed the favors of "party girls."

Bush, George W. Recovering drunkard and cokehead. Not the brightest bulb in the lamp, and in fact couldn’t spell cat if you gave him the “c” and the “a.” The best argument against participatory democracy I know. Hypocritical moralist; Bill Clinton without the brains. Funded a girlfriend's abortion. At odds with his wife over how to treat his daughters' alcoholism.

Bush, Kate. "The most stoned woman in Britain." Alcoholic. Holds a number of, shall we say, "off-beat" religious & philosophical ideas. Linked with Peter Gabriel & David Gilmour.

Butler, Brett. Escaped from a horrible marriage to a wife-beater. Recovering alcoholic. Got breast implants, and has a penchant for exposing her new teats to anyone--particularly cute young (young) men. Unpleasant to her cast and crew.

Butler, Dan. Open about his preferences.

Byrne, Gabriel. Formerly with Ellen Barkin, Naomi Campbell, Madonna, and Julia Ormond.

Caan, James. Abuser of women. Alcoholic & cocaine user. Patron of Heidi Fleiss.

Cage, Nicholas. Long-time heroin user. Didn't make it through high school. Attacks paparazzi. Has at least dabbled in (and with, and on) men. Formerly with Patricia Arquette (ex-wife), Laura Dern, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lisa Marie, and Uma Thurman.

Cagney, James. Possibly had a few same-sex affairs. Linked with Merle Oberon.

Cain, Dean. Vain pretty boy. (Very pretty.) Reportedly easy to work with. Might be playing for the home team. Deflowered Brooke Shields. Formerly with Pamela Anderson, Teri Hatcher, Nastassja Kinski, Gabrielle Reece (who he treated badly--or possibly it was the other way around), and Samantha Torres.

Caine, Michael. Recovering alcoholic. Linked with Faye Dunaway & Bianca Jagger.

Cameron, James. Conceited putz. Cheated on Linda Hamilton with Suzy Amis.

Campbell, Naomi. Unpleasant woman. Drug addict; has been hospitalized for overdoses at least once. Poster child for Assholes Of America (Models Division). Dim bulb. Linked to Eric Clapton, Adam Clayton, Robert De Niro, Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Fiennes, Quincy Jones, Eddie Murphy, Sean Penn, Sly Stallone, and Mike Tyson.

Campbell, Neve. Has acquired a reputation for using her co-stars as stepping stones to better roles, and giving her body in exchange. Rumored to be Bi______. Linked with John Cusack and Matthew Perry.

Capote, Truman. Gay (duh). Drunk. Linked with Errol Flynn and Tyrone Power.

Carne, Judy. Bisexual. Linked with Warren Beatty, Steve McQueen, Burt Reynolds, Vidal Sassoon.

Carey, Drew. Victim of sexual abuse when a child. Picks the wrong women to fall for, poor guy. Enjoys being humiliated in bed.

Carey, Mariah. A certain problem with faithfulness and hygiene. Her early career was funded by her sister's prostitution. Very difficult to work with. Has breast implants. Linked to P. Diddy, Matt Dillon, Eminem, Grant Hill, Derek Jeter, and record company exec Tommy Mottola, who she used to get a record contract.

Carrey, Jim. Unpleasant man, simultaneously rampantly insecure and hideously conceited. Extreme hypochondriac. Didn't make it through high school. Has been known to act extremely childishly on-set, although there are some reports that one-on-one he's not bad. Has sexually harassed numerous actresses. Used LSD when he was a kid. Linked with Lauren Holly, Ashley Judd, Courtney Love, Linda Ronstadt, and Renee Zellweger.

Carson, Johnny. Jury is still out on whether he is a manipulative, cold, creepy jerk, or simply a clueless and stupid innocent who was overly-well-protected by his handlers. Wife-beater. Hires working girls to sit on his lap and call him "Daddie." Linked with Ann-Margaret, Angie Dickinson, Morgan Fairchild, Sally Field, and Mamie Van Doren.

Carson, Lisa Nicole. Suffers from bipolar disorder; drug user.

Carter, Helena Bonham. Home-wrecker (with the husbands' help, of course). Broke up Kenneth Branagh's marriage to Emma Thompson, broke up Tim Burton's marriage, and was also linked with Steve Martin.

Carter, Lynda. Alcoholic.

Cartwright, Nancy. $cientologist.

Caruso, David. Egotistical. Difficult to work with.

Cates, Phoebe. Linked with Kevin Kline.

Cather, Willa. L______.

Chamberlain, Richard. Not-so-closeted FOD.

Chan, Jackie. Very private about his personal life, but has finally has provided some good gossip. Reportedly a very nice, down-to-earth man, although his marriage fell apart because he was never home and he did cheat on his wife. Reportedly linked with Maggie Cheung, Anita Mui, and Elaine Ng, who he fathered a child on.

Chancellor, John. Boozebag. Possibly dabbled in Uranian relationships when younger.

Chandler, Jeff. Crossdresser.

Chaplin, Charlie. Had a taste for young women; was the inspiration for Humbert Humbert in Lolita. "Notoriously oversized." Linked with Louise Brooks, Marion Davies, Paulette Goddard, Hedy Lamarr, Pola Negri, and Lupe Velez.

Chapman, Graham. Gay. Alcohol & drug abuse.

Chapman, Tracy. L______. Linked with Alice Walker.

Chase, Chevy. Vain, humorless, unpleasant man. Recovering drunk.

Cher. Unpleasant personality. More plastic surgery (including breast implants) than anyone (except Michael Jackson) thought the human body could withstand. Difficult to work with. Penchant for younger men; linked with Gregg Allman, Warren Beatty, Sonny Bono, Tom Cruise, David Geffen, John Heard, Val Kilmer, Richie Sambora, Gene Simmons, and Eric Stoltz.

Cherry, Neneh. L_____/bisexual.

Chevalier, Maurice. Closet case. Linked with Merle Oberon.

Chow Yun Fat. The Coolest Man Alive.

Christensen, Helena. Linked with Jon Bon Jovi, Adam Clayton, Billy Corgan, Liam Gallagher, Michael Hutchence, Dave Stewart, and Michael Stipe.

Christian, Claudia. L______/bisexual.

Christie, Julie. L____/bisexual. Linked with Warren Beatty, Brian Eno, Omar Sharif, Donald Sutherland, and Terence Stamp.

Churchill, Winston. Admitted to one same-sex affair. Linked with Tallulah Bankhead.

Clapton, Eric. Hasn't had a happy life; recovering drug addict. Linked with Naomi Campbell, Sheryl Crow, Mick Jagger, Janis Joplin, and Michelle Pfeiffer.

Clark, Anthony. Racist, gay, bi-polar pothead (quite a combination, that).

Clark, Arthur C. Pedophile (hey, I don't believe it, either, but that's the rumor).

Cleese, John. Is hard to work with, but he admits it. Didn't get along with his mother, who didn't want any children and regretted Cleese's birth.

Clift, Montgomery. Called "Pink Princess Tiny Meat" due to his underendowment. Closet queen. Drunkard. Linked with James Dean and Elizabeth Taylor.

Clinton, Bill. Corrupt gladhanding weasel. (Likable in person.) Horn-dog; reportedly nailed Sharon Stone on election evening. Rumored to have slept with Markie Post and Babs Streisand (while Hillary was visiting her ailing father, no less!). Merkin for Hillary Clinton. Underendowed.

Clinton, Hillary. L______/bisexual; reported to have slept with one/both of the Fosters and George Stephanopoulous. Corrupt, manipulative power behind Bill Clinton.

Clooney, George. Reportedly a nice guy. Slut. Possibly swinging for both fences. Like lumberjacks, likes to try on women's clothes. Linked with Lucy Liu, Kelly Preston, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Charlize Theron, and Renee Zellweger.

Close, Glenn. Linked with Woody Harrelson, William Hurt, Jeremy Irons, Kevin Kline, and Cam Neely.

Cohen, William S. Anti-Semite.

Colbert, Claudette. Bisexual. Linked with Gary Cooper and Marlene Dietrich.

Cole, Natalie. Recovering heroin and cocaine addict; former Harlem streetwalker. Plays both sides of the fence.

Cole, Paula. Diva.

Coleman, Gary. Admitted virgin at age 30. Selling dates with himself over the Internet. Freak.

Collette, Toni. Is criminally underused by Hollywood. Recovering bulemic. Linked with Jonathan Rhys-Myers and Michael Stipe.

Collins, Joan. Doxy who is not aging well. Alcoholic. Reportedly was a hooker when she first arrived in Hollywood. Linked with, oh, just about everyone, including Warren Beatty, Harry Belafonte, Marlon Brando, Sydney (son of Charlie) Chaplin, Robert Evans, Dennis Hopper, Anthony Newley, Ryan O'Neal, Terence Stamp, and Robert Wagner.

Condit, Gary. Not only a murderer but also into leather and being watched.

Connery, Sean. Arrogant and self-satisfied sexist. Abuser of women. Never graduated from high school. Wears a toupee. Notorious tightwad. Requires a penis pump to function with women. Linked with Ursula Andress, Brigitte Bardot, Kim Basinger, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Gena Rowlands, Lana Turner, Shelley Winters, Lana Wood, and Catherine Zeta-Jones, who impressed him with her oral skills.

Connick Jr, Harry. Punk, albeit a talented one. Hung, and ought to be. (Yes, I know things are "hung" and people are "hanged.") Married to Jill Goodacre.

Cooper, Gary. Unthinking conservative; worked with HUAC, damn his eyes. Bisexual. Linked with Tallulah Bankhead, Ingrid Bergman, Clara Bow, Claudette Colbert, Marlene Dietrich, Anita Ekberg, Paulette Goddard, Libby Holman, Grace Kelly, Carole Lombard, Sophia Loren, Patricia Neal, Merle Oberon, Barbra Stanwyck, Lupe Velez & Mae West.

Copperfield, David. Vain and preening jerk. Hair-fetishist. Linked with Claudia Schiffer, although reportedly she only goes out with him because he pays her a lot of money. Also rumored to have a huge collection of gay porn, and possibly be a FOD. Vile personal habits.

Coppola, Sofia. Married to Spike Jonze.

Corgan, Billy. "Unpleasant, egomaniacal jerk; numerous enemies in the Chicago club scene, since he's always been the above." Linked with Courtney Love (while Kurt Cobain was still alive).

Cornwell, Patricia. L______. Stalked/stalks Jodie Foster; seems to be quite unstable. While researching a book, got involved with an FBI agent; said agent's husband then tried to kill Cornwell. Has stolen at least one story idea & plot.

Costner, Kevin. Humorless slut who overestimates the level of his own talent. Prone to interfering with production, direction, etc of his films. Cuckolded John Travolta. Linked with Halle Berry, Kathy Lee Gifford, Elle Macpherson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kelly Preston, and Mira Sorvino.

Coulter, Ann. Alcoholic and habitual liar; if she says 2+2=4, doublecheck her figures.

Cox, Courtney. Junkie. Linked with David Arquette, Adam Duritz, Michael Keaton, Conan O'Brien, Sean Penn, Richie Sambora (who she blames for starting her coke addiction), and Christian Slater.

Crane, Bob. Into S&M. Liked to pick up prostitutes and videotape his sex with them. Liked to hook up with actresses he was working with as well as bored housewives in places he was doing dinner theater. Bludgeoned to death by a shady businessman in a hotel room post-videotaping.

Crane, Hart. FOD.

Crawford, Cindy. Former wife/beard to Richard Gere. Closet L____. Hard to work with. Linked with/used as merkins Robert De Niro and Val Kilmer.

Crawford, Joan. "Slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie." "She was a mean, tipsy, powerful, rotten-egg lady." "'There is not enough money in Hollywood to lure me into making another picture with Joan Crawford. And I like money." Vain and unpleasant personality. Horrible to her children. Broke into Hollywood by starring in porn films. Abused by her parents. Alcoholic. Clean freak. Reportedly killed her husband. Linked with Dorothy Azner, Jean-Pierre Aumont, Yul Brynner, Jackie Cooper, Kirk Douglas, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr, Henry Fonda, Glenn Ford, Clark Gable, John Garfield, Jackie Gleason, Cary Grant, Rock Hudson, JFK, Tyrone Power, Martha Raye, Barbara Stanwyck, Franchot Tone, Spencer Tracy, John Wayne, Johnny and Weissmuller.

Crosby, Bing. Unpleasant, cold personality. Treated family horribly and was physically abusive towards his children. Alcoholic. Swapped women (and possibly drag queens) with Milton Berle. Linked with Joan Bennett, Ingrid Bergman, Joan Blondell, Frances Farmer, Grace Kelly, and Mary Martin.

Crow, Sheryl. Drug addict. Difficult to work with. Broke up Ellen-and-Anne by nailing Anne, having Anne fall in love with her, and then tossing Anne aside. Also linked with Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan (ewww!), Jakob Dylan, Kid Rock, and Owen Wilson.

Crowe, Russell. Reports are divided on whether is a straight-shooter or an egotistical roughneck. Drunkard. High school drop-out. Has had at least one three-way (with another man, no less); rumored to have been same-sex before he hit it big in Hollywood. Rumored to have sold drugs as a teen. Linked with Jennifer Connelly, Jodie Foster, Heather Graham, Nicole Kidman, Courtney Love, Meg Ryan, Winona Ryder, and Sharon Stone.

Cruise, Tom. Oh, definitely not a Friend Of Dorothy. Why would you ever think such a thing? No, certainly not. And he definitely doesn't force his gay lovers to sign lengthy non-disclosure contracts before he gets involved with them; that's just a vile, untrue rumor started to bring shame on this quite emphatically heterosexual movie star. Certainly not someone who has and enjoys sex with lots of men. $cientologist. Vain & arrogant. Never graduated from high school. Acted badly towards Nicole Kidman during their break-up, which was caused partially by his insistence on raising the kids $cientologist (she wanted them raised Catholic) and partially because of her pregnancy, which may have been his and may have been Ewan McGregor's. Broke up with Nicole via his representatives. (Cruise, you swine.) Linked with Patricia Arquette, Cher, Penelope Cruz, Rebecca DeMornay, Nelly Furtado, Nicole Kidman, Heather Locklear, Paul Newman, Lisa Marie Presley, and Mimi Rogers.

Cukor, George. FOD.

Culkin, Macaulay. Perhaps the quintessential Too Famous Too Soon child star. Messed up on drugs--somewhat understandable, given his father (as thorough an ogre as you're likely to run across outside of the Crosby household). Possibly molested by Michael Jackson. Very friendly in person, however. Linked with Mila Kunis (of That '70s Show).

Curry, Tim. FOD or Bi______. Linked with Annie Potts.

Curtis, Jamie Lee. Pothead. Recovering drug and alcohol addict. Married to Christopher Guest. Linked with Adam Ant.

Curtis, Tony. Linked with, oh, just about everybody (including Janet Leigh, Marilyn Monroe and Mamie Van Doren). Abused by his mother. Recovering drug & alcohol addict.

Cusack, John. Linked with Pamela Anderson, Neve Campbell, Minnie Driver and Uma Thurman.

Dafoe, Willem. One of the Ten Biggest Men in Hollywood. Linked with Madonna and Mira Sorvino.

Dalle, Beatrice. Thief, drug user (cocaine and heroin) and generally wild and uncontrollable woman. Linked with Rupert Everett.

Damon, Matt. Cracking under pressure of fame, the little punk. Best friends with Ben Affleck, and possibly more. Linked with Penelope Cruz, Claire Danes (when she was under the legal age), Minnie Driver (who found out that he'd dumped her when she heard it on Oprah--Damon, you jerk), Susanna Eng, Calista Flockhart, Lucy Liu, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Winona Ryder.

Daly, Carson. Even less intelligent than he looks, which is saying something. Linked with Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Tara Reid (what, does Daly wield The Force against women or something?).

Dando, Evan. Linked with Bijou Phillips, Julianna Hatfield, Kylie Minogue (who he was caught having sex with in a public toilet), and Liv Tyler, among others--and, yes, he and Julianna were having sex.

Danes, Claire. Insecurity leads her to take abuse from men--or perhaps it's her need to cover up her attraction to women. She needs someone like me to talk to. Linked with Matt Damon and "Indie moron" Ben Lee.

Dangerfield, Rodney. Problem with substance abuse.

Danson, Ted. Reportedly vain. Formerly involved with Whoopi Goldberg. Currently married to Mary Steenburgen.

Danza, Tony. Self-important (though at least one bartender says otherwise). Fingered as a client of a gay escort; prefers well-hung gentlemen, esp. porn stars.

Davies, Marion. Linked with Charlie Chaplin, Clark Gable, Leslie Howard, Joseph P. Kennedy, Dick Powell, William Randolph Hearst and Rudolph Valentino. (Her clitoris was nicknamed "rosebud" by Hearst, which is meaningful to you if you've seen Citizen Kane.)

Davies, Ray. Bisexual. Linked with Chrissie Hynde.

Davis, Ann B. Religious fanatic and alcoholic. L______.

Davis, Bette. A great star, and a great bitch (and not in a good way). Linked with Henry Fonda, Howard Hughes, Franchot Tone, and Gig Young.

Davis, Geena. Very difficult to work with, and has let her success go to her head. Breast implants. Linked with Jeff Goldblum, Renny Harlin (busted marriage) and Brad Pitt.

Davis, Kristin. "Snotty and spoiled." Recovering alcoholic. Linked with Alec Baldwin and Jeff Goldblum.

Davis, Miles. "The single most overrated figure in jazz." Brilliant despite the hype, but his genius does not outweigh the pure evil he did to so many other people. Emotionally and physically violent towards women, including Cicely Tyson during their marriage.

Davis, Jr, Sammy. Bisexual. Member of the Church of Satan. Linked with Linda Lovelace, Marilyn Monroe, Kim Novak and Jean Seberg.

Day, Doris. Hard to work with. Had an unhappy life. Linked with Jimmy Hoffa, Frank Sinatra, Tyrone Power, Ronald Reagan, and Debbie Reynolds.

De Acosta, Mercedes. Gave rise to the game of linking people via their sexual conquests. Famed Hollywood L______. Linked to Maude Adams, Alice B. Toklas, Marlene Dietrich, Isadora Duncan, and Greta Garbo.

Dean, James. Open bisexual; habitue of rough trade and leather bars. Linked with Nick Adams, Ursula Andress, Pier Angeli, Montgomery Clift, Rock Hudson, Eartha Kitt, Roddy McDowell, Sal Mineo, Liz Sheridan (Seinfeld's mom on Seinfeld) and Natalie Wood. Difficult to work with. Called 'the Human Ashtray' because he would ask men in leather bars to put out their cigarettes on his bare chest. Reportedly enjoyed amputees.

Degeneres, Ellen. Openly gay. Linked with Anne Heche, KD Lang and Martha Stewart. Some have said she is difficult to work with.

De Havilland, Olivia. Bisexual. Linked with Errol Flynn, Clark Gable, Edward Heath, Howard Hughes, John Huston, Frederic March, Burgess Meredith and Jimmy Stewart.

De La Hoya, Oscar. Rapist. Anti-semite.

Delaney, Kim. L______. Habitue' of L.A. girl bars. Once smuggled ganja for friends. DUI arrest.

Delon, Alain. Closet queen. Linked with Brigitte Bardot, Jane Fonda, and Shirley Maclaine.

Del Toro, Benicio. Regular guy. Macho. "Shockingly sweet...amazingly mellow." Has no particular liking for oral sex. Linked with Susanna Eng and Heather Graham.

Deluise, Dom. FOD.

DeMille, Cecil B. Anti-Semite.

DeMornay, Rebecca. Daughter of rightwing crackpot Wally George. Formerly with Tom Cruise.

Deneuve, Catherine. Into young boys in leather. Linked with Dean Martin, Marcelle Mastroianni, Roman Polanski, Burt Reynolds, Omar Sharif and Roger Vadim.

De Niro, Robert. Ho-hopper; linked to prostitutes both domestically and internationally. Prefers African-American women. Linked with Naomi Campbell, Cindy Crawford, Calista Flockhart, Whitney Houston, Janet Jackson, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman and Shelley Winters.

Denver, Bob. Pothead.

Denver, John. His head was never recovered following his fatal plane crash.

Depardieu, Gerald. Asshole. Rapist as a teen. Grammar school dropout. Hygienically challenged. Linked with Nastassja Kinski.

Depp, Johnny. Difficult to work with. Drug user/abuser. Experimenting sexually. Linked with Naomi Campbell, Sherilyn Fenn, Jennifer Grey, Juliette Lewis, Kate Moss (with whom he shared addictions), Vanessa Paradis, Christina Ricci, and Winona Ryder.

Derek, Bo. "Very nice woman. As down to earth as can possibly be expected."

Derek, John. Creep. Jerk. Linked with (married to) Ursula Andress, Bo Derek, and Linda Evans.

Dern, Laura. Helped break up the marriages of Billy Bob Thornton and Ben Harper. Linked with Nicholas Cage, Jeff Goldblum, Renny Harlin, Kyle MacLachlan, Vincent Spano, and Treat Williams (while still a teen).

de Rossi, Portia. L______.

Des Barres, Pamela. World's Most Famous Groupie. Linked with Micheal Des Barres, Bob Dylan, Mick Jagger, Waylon Jennings, Don Johnson, Keith Moon, Jim Morrison, Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, and Frank Zappa.

Dey, Susan. Recovering alcoholic. Linked with David Cassidy and Wes Craven (while he was married).

Diana, Princess. Vain, shallow, petty woman. The less you knew her, the better you liked her. Addicted to Rohypnol.

Diaz, Cameron. "Self-important bimbo." Germ-phobic. Alcoholic and heroin user. Very hard to work for; once made her assistant shave her armpits for her. Linked with Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Dillon, Jared Leto, and Ed Norton.

Dicaprio, Leonardo. Slut. Reportedly aggressively bisexual. Treated Claire Danes horrendously on the set of Romeo. Reported heavy drug & alcohol use, to the point where it interferes with his acting performance. Hygienically challenged. Punk. Allegedly made gay porn under another name. Linked with Naomi Campbell, Cameron Diaz, Natasha Henstridge, Eva Herzigova, Lauren Holly,Juliette Lewis, Demi Moore, Kate Moss, Bijou Philips, Baby Spice, and Kate Winslett.

Dick, Andy. DUI and drug abuser. Bisexual.

Dickinson, Angie. Linked with Burt Bacharach, Johnny Carson, David Janssen, JFK, Larry King, and Frank Sinatra.

Dickinson, Janice. Linked with Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger, Grace Jones & Dolph Lundgren (in a three-way), Kelly LeBrock, Liam Neeson, Jack Nicholson, Prince Albert, and Sylvester Stallone.

Diddy, P. (aka the Egotist Formerly Known As Sean Coombs and Puff Daddy.) Hard to work for. Lousy in the sack. Possibly Bi______. Linked with Naomi Campbell, Mariah Carey, Lisa Lopes, Jennifer Lopez, Mase, and Leah Remini.

Diesel, Vin. Prefers the company of gentlemen (what a loss!). Ashamed of his ethnic background. Reportedly a nice guy in person. Linked with Nicole Kidman and Michelle Rodriguez, who said Vin was lousy in the sac (oh, like any of us are going to believe that).

Dietrich, Marlene. Good old girl; player with both sexes. Had a final, ugly descent into alcoholism. Linked with Brian Aherne, Burt Bacharach, Cecil Beaton, George Bernard Shaw (!), Yul Brynner, Claudette Colbert, Colette, Ronald Colman, Gary Cooper, Mercedes De Acosta, Kirk Douglas, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr, Eddie Fisher, John Gilbert, Ernest Hemingway, Howard Hughes, Joseph P Kennedy, JFK, Burt Lancaster, Fritz Lang, Hattie McDaniel, Burgess Meredith, Edward R. Murrow, Edith Piaf, George Raft, Erich Maria Remarque, William Saroyan, Frank Sinatra, Barbara Stanwyck, Adlai Stevenson, Jimmy Stewart, Mike Todd, John Wayne, and Orson Welles.

Dillon, Matt. Reportedly bisexual. Likes being tied up. Alcoholic. Linked with Mariah Carey and Cameron Diaz.

DiMaggio, Joe. Physical abuser of women, including Marilyn Monroe. Whoremonger. Psychopathically cold personality. Treated his family badly. Had mob ties. In sum, as bad at being a person as he was good at playing baseball.

Disney, Walt. Cold fish personality; sexist, racist, anti-Semitic homophobe.

Doherty, Shannon. Completely unpleasant person. Hypocritical conservative. Incredibly hard to work with. Has a long string of failed relationships, from one-night stands (of which there were a number) to ongoing relationships. Bi______; rumored to have been a regular at Playboy Mansion parties and engaged in trysts with Playmates. Breast implants. Linked with Heidi Fleiss, and possibly a former worker for her. Recovering (current?) drug & alcohol addict. Drunk driver. Linked with Judd Nelson and Matthew Perry.

Dole, Bob. Reportedly a good person. Divorced once and had affairs while separated.

Douglas, Ileana. Diva-in-training.

Douglas, Kirk. "The most hated man in Hollywood." Difficult to work with (obviously). Sex addict, and was willing to physically force women to have sex with him. Linked with Lauren Bacall, Joan Crawford, Marlene Dietrich, Rita Hayworth, Patricia Neal, Gene Tierney, and Lana Turner.

Douglas, Michael. Repugnant, contemptible man. Recovering drug & alcohol and sex addict. Linked with Maureen Dowd, Melanie Griffith, Demi Moore, Brenda Vaccaro, and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Downey, Robert, Jr. Was a penis-struck "human piñata" courtesy of the other inmates in jail; has made lots of new friends in his cell. Has now admitted to several same-sex episodes. Recovering and probably current drug addict. Stalks his ex-girlfriend. Never graduated from high school. Linked with Farrah Fawcett, Calista Flockhart,Sarah Jessica Parker, Winona Ryder, and Uma Thurman.

Downey, Roma. Linked with married man Michael Nouri.

Drescher, Fran. Yet another failed Hollywood marriage.

Dreyfuss, Richard. Recovering drug & alcohol addict. Difficult to work with. Good liberal, though. Closeted FOD or bisexual.

Driver, Minnie. Possibly not nearly so sweet as she likes to be portrayed. Linked with Josh Brolin, John Cusack, Matt Damon, David Duchovny, Joey Fatone (of NSYNC), Harrison Ford, Chris Isaak, Mick Jagger (oh, yuch), David Schwimmer, and Elliot Smith.

Drudge, Matt. FOD and egg fetishist who's done great damage to his gay brothers and sisters by aiding the cause of fascists, intolerant orthodox Christians, and conservative scum. Ethically challenged hypocritical lackey and moral catamite to right-wingers. We remember you from the old days, Matt-o, and when you fall back to obscurity we'll be waiting with sharpened knives.

Dryer, Fred. Difficult to work with. Conservative yahoo.

Duchovny, David. Married to Tea Leoni; deals with his separation from her by engaging in steamy phone-sex with her. Pothead. Reportedly likes strippers and young women. Likes porn--a lot. Hard to work with. Formerly with Gillian Anderson (allegedly fathered her child), Minnie Driver, and Winona Ryder.

Dunaway, Faye. Difficult to work with; was once voted "worst passenger" by a group of H'wood limo drivers. Very cheap, very self-absorbed. Linked with Marlon Brando, Lenny Bruce, Michael Caine, Marcello Mastroianni, Steve McQueen, Jack Nicholson, and Peter Wolf.

Duncan, Isadora. Aggressively Bi_______, and quite enjoyed herself. Linked with Mercedes De Acosta and a cast of thousands.

Dunst, Kirsten. "Stuck-up," although since writing that I've gotten several e-mails attesting to Kirsten being really sweet. Caught smoking pot in public (not smart, girl, not smart). Linked with Heath Ledger and Tobey Maguire.

Duritz, Adam. Linked with Jennifer Aniston, Lara Flynn Boyle, Courtney Cox, Winona Ryder, and Gwen Stefani. (Having typed this, I will now light myself on fire.) (I stole that line from ESPN's brilliant Sports Guy.)

Dylan, Bob. Has treated his women badly; numerous sexual diseases. Linked with Joan Baez, Sheryl Crow, & Pamela Des Barres.

Earle, Steve. Recovering addict.

Eastwood, Clint. Refreshingly modest and down-to-Earth personality. Did not treat Sondra Locke particularly well in his relationship with her, though, and has a problem with staying faithful. Possible early same-sex relationship with his mentor Arthur Lubin. Also linked with Francis Fisher and Babs Streisand.

Eden, Barbara. Inexplicably popular in Japan. Reportedly now shopping her fading charms around for cash.

Eddy, Nelson. Not, contrary to what I said earlier, gay; was, rather, devoted to Jeanette MacDonald. (How sweet!)

Eggert, Nicole. Hygienically challenged. Drug/alcohol problems.

Ekberg, Anita. Linked with Gary Cooper & Marcello Mastroianni.

Ekland, Britt. Linked with Warren Beatty, George Hamilton, Ryan O'Neal, Peter Sellers, Rod Stewart.

Electra, Carmen. Admits to same-sex affairs. Will use the casting couch to get roles. Linked with Vin Diesel, Fred Durst (of Limp Bizkit), Tommy Lee, Dave Navarro, Prince, and Dennis Rodman.

Elfman, Jenna. $cientologist. Linked with Thomas Gibson. Pothead. Given to salty language.

Ellington, Duke. At the least very gay-positive; may have slept with his openly gay collaborator Billy Strayhorn.

Eminem. Described as a nice guy by his friends, but his lyrics are vile and evil. Reportedly closeted very deeply. Linked with Kim Basinger, Beyonce, Mariah Carey, Geri Halliwell, and Elton John.

Eng, Susanna. Tssss...*hot*. Linked with Orlando Bloom, Matt Damon, Seth Green, James Marsters, Lenny Kravitz, Joaquin Phoenix, Eric Stoltz, Benicio del Toro, and Owen Wilson.

Estevez, Emilio. $cientologist. Linked with Paula Abdul (ex-wife) and Demi Moore.

Etheridge, Melissa. Out of the closet L_____. Linked with Meg Ryan, Helen Hunt, and Tammy Lynn Michaels (of Popular).

Evangelista, Linda. L_______; using Kyle MacLachlan as a merkin.

Everett, Rupert. Openly gay; former rentboy. Linked with Beatrice Dalle.

Farley, Chris. "Addicted to everything."

Farrow, Mia. Failed marriages to/relationships with Woody Allen, Eddie Fisher, Ryan O'Neal, Roman Polanski, Andre Previn, Philip Roth, Peter Sellers, Frank Sinatra, and Tom Stoppard. Adopted many refugees from overseas but raised them in dubious manner. Shrill and humorless.

Fawcett, Farrah. Cokehead. Prima donna wanna-be. Slut during her early years as an actress. Married & divorced Lee Majors. Linked with Robert Downey, Jr., Ryan O'Neal, Vincent Van Patten, Burt Reynolds, and Sylvester Stallone. Kleptomaniac.

Feldman, Corey. Obnoxious punk; drug addict & drunkard.

Fenn, Sherilyn. Linked with Johnny Depp Prince, and Kiefer Sutherland.

Fergie, Duchess of York. Has been stalking Tiger Woods. She's also stalked Kevin Costner and George Clooney.

Field, Sally. Linked with Johnny Carson, Kevin Kline, and Burt Reynolds.

Fiennes, Ralph. Overly impressed with himself. Left his wife for an older woman.

Fierstein, Harvey. Sweet, insecure, openly gay.

Finney, Albert. Linked with Anouk Aimee, Audrey Hepburn, Diane Keaton, and Shelley Winters.

Fiorentino, Linda. Enthusiastically played the field--both sides--while in college. Difficult to work with.

Fisher, Carrie. Recovering drug addict. Former wife of Paul Simon. Never graduated from high school. Bipolar, but is finally on the right drug regimen and has her life together again--good for you, Ms. Fisher. Very witty writer. Linked with Ben Affleck (you go, Carrie!) Harrison Ford, and George Lucas.

Fisher, Eddie. Admitted speed user. Linked with Pier Angeli, Ann-Margaret, Marlene Dietrich, Mia Farrow, Judy Garland, Merle Oberon, Stefanie Powers, Debbie Reynolds, Connie Stevens, Elizabeth Taylor, and Mamie Van Doren.

Flatley, Michael. Hilariously vain and conceited dancer. One of several men for whom the phrase "GET OVER YOURSELF" was invented. Divorced his wife. Voted one of the twenty most-hated people in Ireland.

Fleming, Ian. Slut. Wife-swapper and Bi______.

Flockhart, Calista. Anorexic, and rumored to have a heroin jones. Linked with Matt Damon, Robert Downey, Jr., Robert DeNiro, Harrison Ford, David E. Kelley (with whom she cuckolded Michelle Pfeiffer), and Garry Shandling (who deserved much better than and from Flockhart).

Flynn, Errol. "The most despicable human being yet born." "My son had not only been a bad little boy, he had been a nasty little boy." Jerk and Nazi sympathizer--also a spy for the Axis, if rumors are to be believed. A closeted FOD. Anti-Semite. Linked with Truman Capote, Olivia de Havilland, Doris Duke, Howard Hughes, Barbara Hutton, Hedy Lamarr, David Niven, Eva Peron, Tyrone Power, Lana Turner, Gloria Vanderbilt, Lupe Velez, and Shelley Winters.

Fonda, Bridget. Linked with Eric Stoltz and Dwight Yoakum.

Fonda, Henry. Cold man in person, even to his family. Linked with Lucille Ball, Joan Crawford, and Bette Davis.

Fonda, Jane. Ninny. Wasn't faithful to Tom Hayden during their marriage. Breast implants. Multiple plastic surgeries. Linked with Warren Beatty, Alain Delon, James Franciscus, Tom Hayden, Huey Newton, Papa John Phillips, Robert Redford, Donald Sutherland, Ted Turner (failed marriage), and Roger Vadim.

Ford, Glenn. Linked with Joan Crawford, Eva Gabor, Judy Garland, Rita Hayworth, Debbie Reynolds, and Barbara Stanwyck.

Ford, Harrison. Rumored to be a skirt-chasing slut into stripper clubs; wife dumped him when she found out that the rumors were true. Big hemp smoker. Also rumored to be into leather and S&M, as well as being a homophobe. Linked with Lara Flynn Boyle, Lesley Ann Down, Minnie Driver, Carrie Fisher, Calista Flockhart, Julia Ormond, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kristen Scott Thomas, and "about four dozen others."

Ford, John. "An S.O.B., a demonic man. Part of his mercurial personality was to do something he knew was mean or mischievous, then try to justify it." Linked with Katherine Hepburn.

Foster, Jodie. Closeted L______. Reported to be very nice in person. Close "friendship" with homophobe Mel Gibson. Had major falling out with Michael Douglas. Linked with Gillian Anderson, Russell Crowe, Mel Gibson, Rob Lowe, and Kelly McGillis.

Foxx, Redd. Difficult to work with.

Francis, Kay. L______.

Frank, Barney. Out; would make a great president.

Franklin, Aretha. Victim of incest; her first child was her father's.

Franz, Dennis. Can be a jerk.

Fraser, Brendan. Unpleasant personality. FOD. Linked with Alicia Silverstone.

Freeman, Morgan. Heavy ganja smoker. Recovering alcoholic.

Fry, Stephen. Playing for the home team. No longer celibate, as he was for a good long while.

Furlong, Edward. Abuser of women. Drug user. Linked with Natasha Lyonne.

Gable, Clark. Notorious tightwad. Bad breath, and bad in bed. Preferred blondes--had a hang-up about brown/black pubic hair. Used the casting couch to break into Hollywood; had George Cukor fired from Gone With The Wind because Cukor knew that. Committed murderous hit and run, and MGM covered for him. Linked with Joan Crawford, Marion Davies, Olivia de Havilland, Ava Gardner, Paulette Goddard, Jean Harlow, Grace Kelly, Hedy Lamarr, Carole Lombard, Merle Oberon, Louella Parsons, Nancy Davis Reagan, Norma Shearer, Lana Turner, Lupe Velez, Shelley Winters, and Loretta Young.

Gabor, Eva. One of the good Gabor sisters. (Zsa Zsa was the evil one.) Never experienced an orgasm with a man; faked every one of them. Linked with Glenn Ford, Merv Griffin, Tyrone Power, and Frank Sinatra.

Gabor, Zsa Zsa. "The most expensive courtesan since Mme de Pompadour." Vain, arrogant, unpleasant woman. Slapped a cop who -dared- pull her over on a traffic violation. Cheated on every one of her nine husbands. Linked with Richard Burton, Sean Connery, Duke of Saxony, Conrad Hilton, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk (!), JFK, Aly Khan, Henry Kissinger, William S. Paley, Porfirio Rubirosa, George Sanders (after they had divorced and while George was married to Zsa Zsa's sister Magda), Frank Sinatra, and Rafael Trujillo.

Gabriel, Peter. Linked with Laurie Anderson, Roseanne Arquette, Kate Bush, and Sinead O'Connor.

Garbo, Greta. Sad woman; had her career sabotaged by MGM. Rumored to be a man. Linked with Max Baer, Tallulah Bankhead, Louise Brooks, Mercedes De Acosta, Dolores Del Rio, John Gilbert (who she left standing at the altar), Joseph P. Kennedy, Carson McCullers, Ramon Novarro, Erich Maria Remarque, Leopold Stokowski, and William S. Paley.

Garcia, Jerry. Drug addict. Hired by the FBI in 1968 to "channel youth dissent and rebellion into more benign and nonthreatening directions."

Gardner, Ava. "The world's most exciting animal." Temperamental, self-destructive, and a drunk. Linked to Richard Burton, Robert Evans, Clark Gable, Howard Hughes, John Huston, Fernando Lamas, Peter Lawford, Robert Mitchum, David Niven, Mickey Rooney, Porfirio Rubirosa, George C. Scott, Omar Sharif, Artie Shaw, Frank Sinatra, Robert Taylor, Mel Torme, and Lana Turner.

Garfield, John. Good old lefty liberal who was essentially killed by HUAC. Linked with Joan Crawford, Hedy Lamarr, Edith Piaf, Lana Turner, and Shelley Winters.

Garland, Judy. Led a sad & unpleasant life: alcohol, pills, suicide attempts; died from an "accidental" drug overdose. Bisexual. Linked with Dirk Bogarde, Yul Brynner, Eddie Fisher, Glenn Ford, Aly Khan, Peter Lawford, Oscar Levant, Ethel Merman (!), Tyrone Power, Artie Shaw, Frank Sinatra, Robert Stack, Kay Thompson, Spencer Tracy (when JG was 15), and Orson Welles.

Garner, James. FOD married to beard.

Garofalo, Janeane. Janeane, you're wonderful--don't worry about yourself so much! Recovering alcoholic. Linked with Ben Stiller.

Garrett, Leif. Drug user.

Gates, Bill. Poster boy for the Nerd Generation. Is heavily dominated/hen-pecked by his wife. Still unclear whether Gates and Microsoft are only examples of greed, or whether there is a more sinister evil at work. Hygienically challenged; is a "full-on slob." Has this thing where he sometimes rocks uncontrollably in his chair. Had a need for speed (automotive) while young. Reportedly entertains call girls in his office.

Gaynor, Janet. Bisexual. Linked with Mary Martin.

Geer, Will. Closet queen and open communist. Linked with Harry Hay, a pioneer in the American gay rights movement.

Gellar, Sarah Michelle. Recovering anorexic. Prefers to go out with men less famous than she. Has grown too impressed with herself and acted the diva on the set of Scooby Doo. Has hair extension because of the damage all that dyeing has done to her hair. Either "bitchy" and "imperious" or simply too take-charge and aggressive for fragile egos. Linked with David Boreanaz (whose marriage she helped destroy), James Marsters (who she should dump Freddie Prinze Jr. for), Jerry O'Connell, Matthew Perry, and Freddie Prinze Jr (whose attraction, for SMG, is one of the great mysteries of our time).

Gere, Richard. Former husband/merkin to Cindy Crawford. Closet case, although the gerbil-stuffing rumor was spread by Stallone. Likes it rough--very rough. Linked to Kim Basinger, Barbara Carrera, Julia Roberts, Diana Ross, Barbra Streisand, Uma Thurman, John Travolta, Tuesday Weld.

Gershon, Gina. Got her role on "Snoops" by nailing David E. Kelley. Linked with Gillian Anderson, Beck,and Lenny Kravitz.

Gershwin, George. Slut. Linked to Kitty Carlisle, Paulette Goddard, Ginger Rogers, Simone Simon, and Fay Wray.

Gibbons, Leeza. Once upon a time was quite the party girl.

Gibson, Mel. Strident and clueless Catholic. Compulsively cheats on his wife; refuses to let her use birth control. Homophobe and sexist. Alcoholic. Has a taste for Thai hookers; has them flown in while he's on set. Is also a shoe fetishist.

Gielgud, Sir John. Openly gay (good on you, Sir John).

Gifford, Frank. Lackwit husband to Kathy Lee. Cheated on her when given the chance, admitting his taste for pornography. Former client of Heidi Fleiss' brothel. FOD or Bisexual.

Gifford, Kathie Lee. One of the foci of evil in the modern world. Sociopathic personality; emotional abuser of her child; empty-headed & vain. Exploits third-world workers via her clothing line. Does not treat her assistants well. Cheap tipper. Linked with Kevin Costner.

Gilbert, John. Had his career ruined by that SOB Louis B. Mayer. Was left standing at the altar by Greta Garbo. Linked with Clara Bow, Marlene Dietrich, Carole Lombard, Norma Shearer, and Lupe Velez.

Gilbert, Sara. L______.

Gingrich, Newt. Evil, egotistical conservative martinet. Draft-dodger. Divorced once; cheated/cheats on his wife, and reportedly used House offices for trysts. Has oral sex with women so he can claim he didn't sleep with them. Forced ex-wife to sign divorce papers hours after her cancer surgery. Deadbeat dad.

Gish, Lillian. Bisexual.

Givens, Robin. Difficult to work with, although her failed marriage to (and abuse at the hands of) Mike Tyson might explain that. Linked with Michael Jordan, Jason Kidd, Eddie Murphy (when she was 16), Brad Pitt, Malik Sealy, Howard Stern, Mike Tyson, and Forest Whitaker.

Glenn, Scott. Would-be food connoisseur--but a failure at it.

Glitter, Gary. Into kiddie porn.

Goddard, Paulette. Bisexual. Had a lifelong taste for rich men and rich living. Linked with Charlie Chaplin (by marriage), Johnny Carson, Gary Cooper, Clark Gable, George Gershwin, Howard Hughes, John Huston, Aldous Huxley (!), Frida Kahlo (!), Sir Alexader Korda, Burgess Meredith (by marriage), David Niven, Aristotle Onassis, Erich Maria Remarque, Diego Rivera, Artie Shaw, John Steinbeck, Spencer Tracy, John Wayne, and H.G. Wells.

Goldberg, Whoopi. Bi______. Former teenaged streetwalker. Former heroin addict. Formerly involved with Ted Danson (a worse crime?). Possible involvement with Patrick Stewart. Linked with Frank Langella. Hygienically challenged. Difficult to work with.

Goldblum, Jeff. Has let his fame go to his head. Slut. Linked with Geena Davis, Kristin Davis, Laura Dern, and Lisa Marie Presley.

Gooding, Cuba, Jr. Gave way to temptation and cheated on his wife.

Gordon, Ruth. "Very difficult and rather horrible."

Graham, Heather. "Will sleep with anyone if it will advance her career." Coke user. About two cans short of a sixpack. Linked to Drew Barrymore, Ed Burns, Russell Crowe, Benicio del Toro, Heath Ledger, Tobey Maguire, and James Woods.

Grammar, Kelsey. Drug and alcohol problems. Statutory rapist.

Grant, Cary. Difficult to work with. Tightwad. Played both sides of the fence. Linked with Mr. Blackwell, Dyan Cannon, Joan Crawford, Doris Duke, Howard Hughes, Barbara Hutton, Grace Kelly, Sophia Loren, Kim Novak, Ginger Rogers, Randolph Scott, and Mae West.

Grant, Hugh. General idiot and ninny; an Oxbridge grad but reportedly eight sandwiches short of a picnic basket. B_______. Linked with Sandra Bullock and Elizabeth Hurley.

Gray, Macy. Functioning heroin addict, and now back to using crack. Get your Death Pool entry for her in now; you may not have much time.

Gray, Spalding. Reportedly unpleasant in person. Screen debut was in a hard-core porn film--as the star.

Grey, Jennifer. Possible Bi____. Linked with Matthew Broderick, Johnny Depp, and George Stephanopoulos--and, if rumors are true, Madonna, Sandra Bernhard, and/or Debi Mazur.

Grieco, Richard. Conceited. Rapist. Linked with Yasmine Bleeth.

Griffin, Merv. Closeted, but still gay as an Ungaro Spring Frock. Linked to Eva Gabor.

Griffith, Melanie. Broke up Antonio Banderas' marriage, then married him herself. Breast implants. Recovering drunk & drug addict. Homophobe. Formerly with Warren Beatty, Michael Douglas, Ed Harris, Don Johnson, and Ryan O'Neal.

Griffiths, Rachel. Hygienically challenged, and has developed a diva-like attitude since Six Feet Under became successful.

Grohl, Dave. Linked to Christina Aguilera and Winona Ryder, who he did not treat well at all.

Gumbel, Bryant. Prick. Difficult to work with. Wanton philanderer and adulterer, and treated his wife horribly before and during their divorce. Doesn't like cheese.

Gwynne, Fred. Apparently not gay, just manic depressive and unpleasant to work with.

Haas, Lukas. Messed himself up in a big way with drugs; his career might well be over now. Linked with Natalie Portman.

Hagar, Sammy. Pinhead. Likes multiple women at the same time.

Haim, Corey. Reputed drug addict and rent-boy. Linked with Winona Ryder.

Halford, Rob. Out and admitting it.

Halliwel, Geri. L______.

Hamilton, Linda. L_____/bisexual. Linked by marriage with James Cameron; reportedly rebounded from the failure of that marriage with a stuntwoman.

Hancock, Herbie. The nicest, sweetest man in the music business.

Hanks, Tom. A well-meaning and nice man who can and should be forgiven for Forrest Gump--although current rumors have his star status going to his head--a shame, if so. Recovering drug addict. Knocked up his first wife in college.

Hannah, Darryl. "A 25-watt bulb in a 100-watt socket." Hygienically challenged. Has a prosthetic finger/fingertip. Linked with Jackson Browne, Dodi al Fayed, John-John Kennedy, Val Kilmer, and Mickey Rourke.

Hannigan, Alyson. (Willow on Buffy) Into three-ways. Very pleasant woman, and is very well-liked on the Buffy set. Very open, and cheerily so, about her sex life; good for you, Ms. Hannigan.

Harlin, Renny. Unpleasant man, treats his women poorly (cheats on them) and his casts and crew worse. Linked with Geena Davis and Laura Dern.

Harlow, Jean. Died too soon. Linked with Max Baer, Clark Gable, Howard Hawks, Howard Hughes, William Powell, Bugsy Siegel, Jimmy Stewart, and Thomas Wolfe.

Harmon, Angie. Cokehead.

Harrelson, Woody. Major pothead and general oddball (as well as bad poet). Father is a killer. Beats women. Self-described "sex addict." Linked with Glenn Close, Carol Kane, Penelope Ann Miller, Ally Sheedy, Brooke Shields, and Moon Unit Zappa.

Harris, Ed. Substance abuse problems. Formerly with Melanie Griffith. Married to Amy Madigan.

Harris, Neil Patrick. FOD.

Harris, Richard. Recovering drunkard; charming personality, though. Reportedly difficult to work with. Linked with Merle Oberon.

Harrison, Rex. Vain, cold, unpleasant personality; egregiously nasty. Disliked by his fellow actors & actresses. Reported to be impotent. Linked with Carole Landis, Vivien Leigh, and Merle Oberon.

Hart, Melissa Joan. Alcoholic.

Hasselhoff, David. Was enormous in Germany at one time, but thankfully this is no longer so. Depending on who you talk to, either down-to-earth despite his success, or a raging egomaniac. Recovering alcoholic.

Hatch, Orrin. Deeply closeted gay male with a penchant for leather & rent-boys.

Hatcher, Teri. Prima donna and difficult to work with. Linked with Dean Cain.

Hawke, Ethan. Hygienically challenged. Overly impressed with his own intelligence. Failed author. Cokehead. Told friends and strangers, in excruciating detail, about how Uma Thurman’s private parts changed after childbirth (what a moron Hawke is). Linked with Lisa Loeb, Julia Roberts & Uma Thurman, who he married.

Hawn, Goldie. "Close to 60 and dresses like a 20-year-old hooker." Hygienically challenged. Linked with Kurt Russell; lets him cat around on her due to low self-esteem. $cientologist. Couldn't stand Bette Midler on First Wives Club set. Linked with Warren Beatty.